Toward The Light (Weekly)

Toward the Light is meant to be inspirational, humorous and fun. I publish a new edition each week (or whenever I feel like it).

I started editing this weekly "letter" more than 20 years ago. Over the years many people have sent me short pieces they thought others would like to read. I have also written many articles for its pages.

One of the most popular continuing features has been Birthdays this week where I remind readers of the ages of well-known people. I try to include only living people but I have several friends who delight in pointing out my error when I include someone who is long gone. Don't be one of those (the laughing or the dead).

I hope you will enjoy reading it here on the web each week.

(The Editor)

Toward The Light September 2, 2010 Volume 17 Issue 49

WONDERS
author unknown
    A teacher asked her students to list what they considered to be the Seven Wonders of the World. Though there was some disagreement, the following got the most votes:
1. Egypt’s Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peter’s Basilica
7. China’s Great Wall
    While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student, a quiet girl, hadn’t turned in her paper. She asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list.
    The quiet girl replied, "Yes a little. I couldn’t quite make up my mind because there were so many."
    The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have and maybe we can help."
    The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the Seven Wonders of the World are:
1. to touch
2. to taste
3. too see
4. to hear
. . . she hesitated a little, then read on:
5. to run
6. to laugh
7. and to love."

The brook would lose its song if we removed the rocks.

MY CUP HAS OVERFLOWED
author unknown
I’ve never made a fortune
and it’s probably too late now.
But I don’t worry about that much,
I’m happy anyhow.
And as I go along life’s way,
I’m reaping better than I sowed.
I’m drinking from my saucer,
’cause my cup has overflowed.

Haven’t got a lot of riches,
and sometimes the going’s tough.
But I’ve got loving ones around me,
and that makes me rich enough.
I thank God for His blessings,
and the mercies He’s bestowed.
I’m drinking from my saucer,
’cause my cup has overflowed.

I remember times when things
went wrong,
my faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke,
and sun peeped through again.
So Lord, help me not to gripe
about the tough rows that I’ve hoed.
I’m drinking from my saucer,
’cause my cup has overflowed.

If God gives me strength and courage,
when the way grows steep and rough,
I’ll not ask for other blessings,
I’m already blessed enough.
And may I never be too busy,
to help others bear their loads.
Then I’ll keep drinking from my
saucer,
’cause my cup has over flowed.

One never notices what has been done; one can only see what remains to be done. MARIE CURIE

After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no idea how to start, so I decided to look in the personals column in the newspaper. After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but I put off calling them.

Two days later, there was a message on my answering machine from my ex-wife: "I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don’t call the one in the second column. It’s me."

There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I’m sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.

Birthdays this week: Charlie Sheen (45), Keanu Reeves (46), Mark Harmon (59), Salma Hayek (42), Beyonce Knowels (29), Raquel Welch (70), Lily Tomlin (71), Jeff Foxworthy (52), Bob Newhart (81)

Toward The Light August 26, 2010 Volume 17 Issue 48

MARRIED COUPLES KNOW

THEY’VE MET THEIR SOUL

MATE IN MARRIAGE WHEN

. . . one is absolutely right on an issue and then lets the matter drop.

. . . they still laugh at each other’s jokes.

. . . they’d rather spend Saturday afternoon together than apart.

. . . they show each other the common courtesies offered to complete strangers.

. . . they can argue until they are blue in the face and still eat pizza together before bedtime.

. . . they feel free to point out each other’s faults and help each other improve.

. . . they can sense when something is bothering the other without a spoken word.

. . . they can talk about any topic without the other leaving the room.

. . . one is always willing to give up something for the other—and the other won’t allow it.

. . . they not only look forward to staying young together but also look forward to growing old together.

Birthdays this week: LeAnn Rimes (28), Shania Twain (45), John McCain III (74), Richard Gere (61), Rachel Ray (42), Billy Ray Cyrus (49), Warren Buffett (80) and Cameron Diaz (38).

I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas. HILLARY CLINTON

NOT BY BREAD ALONE

from The University Presbyterian

Man does not live by bread alone, but by beauty and harmony, truth and goodness, work and recreation, affection and friendship, aspiration and worship.

Not by bread alone, but by the splendor of the firmament at night, the glory of the heaven at dawn, the blending of the colors at sunset, the loveliness of magnolia trees, the magnificence of the mountains.
Not by bread alone, but by the majesty of ocean breakers, the shimmer of moonlight on a calm lake, the flashing silver of a mountain torrent, the exquisite patterns of snow crystals.
Not by bread alone, but by the sweet song of a mockingbird, the rustle of the wind in the trees, the magic of a violin, the sublimity of a softly lighted cathedral.
Not by bread alone, but by fragrance of the roses, the scent of orange blossoms, the smell of new-mown hay, the clasp of a friend’s hand, the tenderness of a mother’s kiss.
Not by bread alone, but by the lyrics of poets, the wisdom of sages, the holiness of saints, the biographies of great souls.
Not by bread alone, but by comradeship and high adventure, seeking and finding , serving and sharing, loving and being loved.
Man does not live by bread alone, but by being faithful in prayer, responding to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, finding and doing the will of God now and eternally.

PERFECT

author unknown

One night with the rain pouring down, a man ducked into a taxi that happened along just as he walked out of his office building.

"Perfect timing," said the cab driver as the man climbed in. "You’re just like Harold."

"Who?" the man asked.

"Harold Curry," the cab driver said. "A most memorable character. He did everything right. Like this cab coming along when you needed it. That’s exactly what would have happened to Harold. He was always right."

The man responded, "Nobody’s that perfect."

The cab driver went on, "He was a great athlete, too. He played tennis and golf like a pro and was a superb dancer. Harold never forgot anyone’s birthday or anniversary. He knew which fork to use and how to taste wine. He was also a great handyman. He could fix anything. Me? I’m all thumbs."

They were just about at the man’s destination. "That Harold must have been quite a guy," he said as he stepped out of the cab. "No wonder he’s your most memorable character."

As the driver made change for the man he said, "He’d be yours too, if you’d married his widow like I did."

Toward The Light August 19, 2010 Volume 17 Issue 47

PANCAKES

author unknown

Six year-old Brandon decided one Saturday morning to fix his parents pancakes. He found a big bowl and spoon, pulled a chair to the counter, opened the cupboard and pulled out the heavy flour canister, spilling it on the floor. He scooped some of the flour into the bowl with his hands, mixed in most of a cup of milk and added some sugar, leaving a floury trail on the floor which by now had a few tracks left by his kitten.

Brandon was covered with flour and getting frustrated. He wanted this to be something very good for Mom and Dad, but it was getting very bad. He didn’t know what to do next, whether to put it all into the oven or on the stove (and he didn’t know how the stove worked!).

Suddenly, he saw his kitten licking from the bowl of mix and reached to push her away, knocking the egg carton to the floor. Frantically, he tried to clean up this monumental mess but slipped on the eggs, getting his pajamas white and sticky.

Just then he saw Dad standing by the door. Big crocodile tears welled up in Brandon’s eyes. All he’d wanted to do was something good, but he’d made a terrible mess. He was sure a scolding was coming, maybe even a spanking. But his father just watched him. Then, walking through the mess, he picked up his crying son, hugged him and loved him, getting his own pajamas white and sticky in the process.

That’s how God deals with us. We try to do something good in life, but it turns into a mess. Our marriage gets all sticky or we insult a friend or we can’t stand our job or our health goes sour. Sometimes we just stand there in tears because we can’t think of anything else to do. That’s when God picks us up and loves us and forgives us, even thought some of our mess gets all over Him.

But just because we might mess up, we can’t stop trying like Brandon to "make pancakes" for God or for others. Sooner or later we’ll get it right and then they’ll be glad we tried.

Birthdays this week: Matthew Perry (41), Bill Clinton (64), Tipper Gore (62), Kenny Rogers (72), Tori Amos (46), Valerie Harper (70), Sean Connery (80), Van Johnson (94) and Dave Chappelle (37).

A country preacher was walking home one afternoon when he came upon a young farmer struggling to shovel a load of manure back on his wagon.

"You look very hot, my boy," said the preacher, "why don’t you take a break and I’ll help you when you’ve rested."

The young farmer said, "No thanks, I don’t think my father would like it if I stopped to rest."

"Don’t be silly," said the preacher, "everyone is entitled to a break on such a hot day."

Again the young man protested that his father would be very upset if he stopped to rest.

Losing his patience, the preacher said, "Your father must be a real tyrant. Tell me where he is and I’ll give him a piece of my mind."

"Actually," replied the young farmer, "he’s under this load of manure."

JESUS

A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said wouldn’t be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic on the level with a man who says he is a poached egg—or else he would be the devil of hell; you must make your choice. Either this was, and is, the Son of God, or else a mad man or something worse. You can shut Him up for a demon, or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But don’t come up with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great moral teacher. He hasn’t left that alternative open to us. He did not intend to. C.S. LEWIS

The average man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman—any woman—with beautiful legs. MARLINE DIETRICH

Toward The Light August 12, 2010 Volume 17 Issue 46

EXERCISE (commentaries)

by many authors

Someone once said that for every mile you jog, you add one minute to your life. This will enable you, at the age of 85, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $5,000 or more per month.

My friend’s grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again, but I can’t remember why.

I joined a local health and exercise club last year. It cost me about $600 but I haven’t lost a single pound. Apparently, you have to show up.

If I were to exercise, I would have to do it early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

I don’t exercise at all. If God meant me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

I like long walks—especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs. Fortunately my stomach covers them.

The only advantage exercise gives you is that you die healthier.

If you like cross-country skiing, start with a very small country.

I don’t jog. It makes the ice jump out of my vodka on the rocks.

Exercising regularly can add years to your life. The only trouble is you’ll spend the extra years exercising.

You cannot choose your battlefield, God does that for you;

But you can plant a standard

Where a standard never flew.

STEPHEN CRANE

THE FIVE FINGERS OF PRAYER

author unknown

1. Your thumb is nearest to you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C.S. Lewis once said, a "sweet duty."

2. The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal; this includes teachers, doctors and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.

3. The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God’s guidance.

4. The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger; as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.

5. And lastly comes our little finger; the smallest finger of all. Which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, "The least shall be the greatest among you." Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.

Birthdays this week: Maureen O’Hara (89), Sean Penn (50), Fidel Castro (84), Ben Affleck (38), Steve Martin (65), Timothy Hutton (50), Halle Berry (44), Robert DeNiro (67), Madonna (52), Steve Carell (41), Christian Slater (47), Robert Redford (73), Eydie Gorme (78) and Susan St. James (64).

(SOME) GREAT TRUTHS

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not for the toy.

There is always something to be thankful for. For example, I’m thankful wrinkles don’t hurt.

That thin person inside you struggling to get out can usually be sedated with an extra piece of chocolate cake.

Richard L. Evans

author and editor